all human beings possess the ability to lie. And many of us do, multiple studies have suggested that, on average, Americans tell one or two lies a day. Fortunately, experts say there are ways to spot signs of untruthfulness. So here you can find, how do i know when someone is lying, how to know if someone is lying through text, how to deal with liars, body language lying, .way of lying

how do i know when someone is lying

how do i know when someone is lying
how do i know when someone is lying
  1. A CHANGE IN SPEECH PATTERNS
    One telltale sign someone may not be telling the whole truth is irregular speech. According to Gregg McCrary, a retired FBI criminal profiler, a person’s voice or mannerisms of speaking may change when they tell a lie, as reported in Forbes.
  2. THE USE OF NON-CONGRUENT GESTURES
    If a person says yes but shakes their head no, it may indicate that they’re not telling the truth. As Dr. Ellen Hendriksen, a clinical psychologist at Boston University’s Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders, points out in Scientific American, non-congruent gestures are movements in the body that don’t match the words a person says, and the gestures are the truth-tellers. In Dr. Hendricksen’s example, if someone says, “Of course I’ll cooperate with the investigation” and gives a small head shake, there’s a possibility they will not tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
  3. NOT SAYING ENOUGH
    When truth-telling witnesses describe what they saw and are asked: “Is there anything else?” more details are revealed. But when liars are asked to go beyond their prepared stories, few other details are offered.
  4. SAYING TOO MUCH
    On the flip side, researchers from Harvard Business School determined that liars trying to deceive stretch the truth with too many words. Since such a liar may make up things as they go, they may also add excessive detail to convince themselves or others of what they are saying. They may also embellish with words that a person telling the truth wouldn’t think of adding.
  5. AN UNUSUAL RISE OR FALL IN VOCAL TONE
    The same APA article raises an important point around culture, context, and communication regarding detecting lies.
    Dr. David Matsumoto, a professor of psychology at San Francisco State University and CEO of Humintell, a consulting company that trains people to read human emotions, emphasizes that researchers must consider cultural bias when determining if someone is lying or not. For example, his lie detection research found that Chinese participants tend to speak with a higher vocal pitch when lying. In direct contrast, Hispanic research participants spoke with a lower vocal pitch when lying.
  6. DIRECTION OF THEIR EYES
    Much has been discussed on the topic of truthfulness and eye contact. A commonly-held cultural belief in the United States is if a person isn’t making eye contact, they aren’t telling the truth, whereas, in other cultures, eye contact can be considered untrustworthy in a given context.
    A study titled “The Eyes Don’t Have It,” published in 2012 in Plos One, debunked the notion that people look left or right when lying. However, a research study conducted in 2015 by the University of Michigan and featured in Time Magazine showed that 70 percent of people in 120 media clips lied while maintaining direct eye contact.
  7. COVERING THEIR MOUTH OR EYES
    Many people want to cover up a lie or hide from their reaction to it, which may be why they put their hands over their eyes or mouths when letting an untruth out. According to former CIA officers in their book Spy the Lie, others may even completely close their eyes when telling a lie, as reported in Parade Magazine. This could be especially true when it’s in response to a question that does not require a lot of reflection.
  8. EXCESSIVE FIDGETING
    Think about what a kid does when asked where the last cookie went. They may lick their lips, look at their nails, or even shake their hands—and then tell a big whopper of a lie.

how to know if someone is lying through text

  1. They are trying to change the subject.
    A liar will try to change the subject of your discussion and focus on a completely different one. They might even pretend that they’re hurt by your insinuation that they’re lying. This is called external distraction, and while focusing on it, a liar might accuse the other person of lying about something. They may even try every method possible to avoid answering the initial question that put them under the microscope.
  2. They compliment you after giving you a quick answer.
    Flattery is a method of manipulation that many people practice in their professional and personal lives. It can be used by a liar to gain control of the conversation and point it in a new direction. And it tends to be successful simply because we all like being told nice things about ourselves. The manipulator/liar knows us well enough and can tackle our insecurities when it suits them.
  3. They’re being vague.
    When someone isn’t afraid to tell the truth, they’ll recall the easily remembered details that back up their story. A liar, on the other hand, will try to keep things vague by withholding information. They don’t want to give specific details that can easily be proven as lies. By telling half the story, they feel confident that they haven’t necessarily lied but told only half the truth.
  4. They claim that they’re honest and that they “never lie.”
    In their effort to be convincing, liars will overemphasize their honesty. Expressions like, “to be honest,” “believe me,” and “to tell you the truth” are very commonly used. If a person is being truthful, they won’t need to repeat again and again how honest they are. By resorting to that trick, they are obviously trying to hide the truth from you by over affirming their truthfulness.
  5. They create complex and extremely detailed stories.
    Someone talented enough to create such detailed and colorful stories might be a pathological liar. Their stories are usually very convincing, while complicated and dramatic at times. The tiny details make their stories sound truthful, and they might even believe their own fabricated stories. This makes it very hard for you to deal with them since they’re not even fully aware they’re lying but think they’re telling the truth.
  6. They jump between the past and present tense.
    When a person is completely fabricating a story, they’re likely to mess up their wording. You may notice that they jump from past to present tense and the other way around. This is because their brain is so busy coming up with a fake story that it forgets how to form a grammatically accurate sentence. Unless someone does this on a regular basis, if you suddenly notice such a change, you should suspect that they’re lying.
  7. They try to end the conversation abruptly.
    You may be texting someone and ask them something that puts them under the microscope. Their answer could be very short and vague, and suddenly they’re in a rush to do something. They will end the conversation, leaving your question unanswered and you wondering if they have something to hide. The best thing to do in a case like this is to meet the other person and talk to them face-to-face, seeing their reaction.
  8. They don’t use first-person pronouns
    Sometimes liars can’t face their own actions and take accountability for them. That’s why they will refrain from using first-person pronouns but instead will make more general statements. For example, if your boss is using the terms “we” and “us” too often, they’re probably trying to distance themselves from their responsibilities. This way, they make you feel responsible for something you had no control over.

how to deal with liars

Part 1: Assessing the Problem

  • Step 1: Recognize when the person is lying.
  • Recognize when the person is lying. If you know what to look for, it’s not hard to tell when someone is lying to you. Knowing how to recognize when the person is trying to deceive you can clue you in to how serious the issue is. Get to know how the person looks and acts in a normal, non-stressful situation, and contrast this with how they act when you think they may be lying. After a while you should be able to read the person’s body language well enough to have a grasp on when they’re not telling the truth.[1]
  • Check out the way the person acts when you ask their birth date or hometown. Now compare that behavior to how the person acts when you ask a more difficult question, like whether they slept with your boyfriend or fudged numbers on a work document. If the person is telling the truth, they shouldn’t show signs of stress when answering the more difficult questions.
  • Forget what you’ve heard about lack of eye contact being an indication that someone is lying; in fact, many liars deliberately make eye contact because of this myth.
  • When people lie they unconsciously exhibit other physical signs of stress. Look for these signs:
  • A fake smile that engages only the mouth, not the eyes.
  • A higher-pitched voice than normal.
  • Dilated pupils.
  • Very slow blink rate (and rapid blink rate when the lie is over).
  • Antsy foot movements, like toe-tapping or shuffling.
  • Face touching, like repeatedly covering the mouth, eyes or nose.
  • Step 2: Look for patterns in the person’s lies.
  • Look for patterns in the person’s lies. Many people lie about a few subjects that make them extremely uncomfortable – usually their past bad behavior or something that makes them embarrassed. If the person in question tends to consistently lie when asked about a certain topic, you may just want to back off and stop pressing that particular issue. However, if the person’s lies seem to have no rhyme or reason, with no pattern you can make out, you’ve got a bigger problem on your hands.[2]
  • If someone lies every time you ask them about why their father is always absent, or why they never finished high school, or why they refuse to speak to a certain person, the answers to those questions might well be classified as none of your business, anyway. Unless you’re in a committed relationship with someone, you aren’t entitled to knowing every detail about someone’s life.
  • If, on the other, hand the person seems to tell lies just for the heck of it, even when asked questions about seemingly unimportant topics, they might be a compulsive liar. Since their lying doesn’t follow a pattern, it will be a lot harder to sympathize with the person’s intentions for hiding the truth.
  • Step 3: Determine whether the person’s lies are harmful.
  • Determine whether the person’s lies are harmful. It never feels good to be told a lie, but some lies are more harmful than others. Before you stage an intervention, figure out how the lies are affecting the liar, you, and other people who may be involved.[3]
  • Is the person merely protecting themselves from saying too much? Maybe it’s not that big a deal.
  • Is the person lying to manipulate other people? Do people make decisions based on what the person says, not realizing they’ve been lied to? This is a problem that needs to be addressed.
  • Is the person lying to get away with bad behavior, like stealing, cheating or hurting someone? This behavior has a severely negative effect.
  • Step 4: See if the person gets pleasure from lying.
  • See if the person gets pleasure from lying. Some people actually enjoy the act of lying more than they enjoy telling the truth. It can be like an addiction, evoking a small high each time a lie is told. Brazen liars who have gotten away with lying for a long time might start to lie as a way of life, rather than out of perceived necessity. Compulsive liars are tough to crack, since they need to treat lying like any other addiction.
  • Step 5: Look for signs the person is a pathological liar.
  • Look for signs the person is a pathological liar. Pathological liars tell exaggerated lies that are so far from the truth that they’re often glaringly obvious. They often believe the lies they tell, and they’ll tell you a completely absurd story with a poker face so earnest that you can’t help but take it as truth. Pathological liars have a psychological disorder. Unfortunately, because they think they’re telling the truth, you won’t be able to talk them out of lying. Still, it’s worth confronting them to determine whether a wake-up call will set them on the path to getting help.[4] how do i know when someone is lying

body language lying

  1. People who are lying tend to change their head position quickly
    If you see someone suddenly make a head movement when you ask them a direct question, they may be lying to you about something.
    “The head will be retracted or jerked back, bowed down, or cocked or tilted to the side,” said Glass.
    This will often happen right before the person is expected to respond to a question.
  2. Their breathing may also change
    When someone is lying to you, they may begin to breathe heavily, Glass said. “It’s a reflex action.”
    When their breathing changes, their shoulders will rise and their voice may get shallow, she added. “In essence, they are out of breath because their heart rate and blood flow change. Your body experiences these types of changes when you’re nervous and feeling tense — when you lie.”
  3. They tend to stand very still
    It’s common knowledge that people fidget when they get nervous, but Glass said that you should also watch out for people who are not moving at all.
    “This may be a sign of the primitive neurological ‘fight,’ rather than the ‘flight,’ response, as the body positions and readies itself for possible confrontation,” said Glass. “When you speak and engage in normal conversation, it is natural to move your body around in subtle, relaxed, and, for the most part, unconscious movements. So if you observe a rigid, catatonic stance devoid of movement, it is often a huge warning sign that something is off.”
  4. They may repeat words or phrases
    talking
    This happens because they’re trying to convince you, and themselves, of something, she says. “They’re trying to validate the lie in their mind.” For example, he or she may say: “I didn’t…I didn’t…” over and over again, Glass said.
    The repetition is also a way to buy themselves time as they attempt to gather their thoughts, she added.
  5. They may provide too much information
    coworker
    “When someone goes on and on and gives you too much information — information that is not requested and especially an excess of details — there is a very high probability that he or she is not telling you the truth,” wrote Glass. “Liars often talk a lot because they are hoping that, with all their talking and seeming openness, others will believe them.”
  6. They may touch or cover their mouth
    hand over mouth
    “A telltale sign of lying is that a person will automatically put their hands over their mouth when they don’t want to deal with an issue or answer a question,” says Glass.
    “When adults put their hands over their lips, it means they aren’t revealing everything, and they just don’t want to tell the truth,” she says. “They are literally closing off communication.”
  7. They tend to instinctively cover vulnerable body parts
    Sore throat
    Image Point Fr/Shutterstock
    This may include areas such as the throat, chest, head, or abdomen.
    “I have often seen this in the courtroom when I work as a consultant for attorneys. I can always tell when someone’s testimony has hit a nerve with the defendant, when I see his or her hand covering the front of his/her throat,” said Glass. how do i know when someone is lying

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way of lying

Part 1: Establishing an Effective Lie

  • Step 1: Keep your lie simple.
  • Keep your lie simple. Include details that make your lie seem legitimate, but not so many that it becomes complicated. An elaborate lie means more details that you have to keep track of and can often mean more explaining. A simple, straightforward lie is easier to maintain.
  • For example, an elaborate lie might be, “I’m late because when I got onto I-70, it was so backed up that I had to reverse all the way down the entrance ramp and I ended up taking country roads instead.” A simple version of that lie would be, “Traffic was pretty backed up on I-70.”
  • The simplicity of the lie can show that you don’t have any other details to add to it.
  • Step 2: Avoid including other people in the lie.
  • Avoid including other people in the lie. Using someone as a witness or alibi makes your lie more complicated than it needs to be. If the person you lie to checks your alibi, they may find out you lied.
  • If you use someone else in your lie, be sure to tell them. Some people may not appreciate being part of your lie.
  • If you are planning a lie ahead of time, at least talk to the person and see if they are willing to cover for you, as opposed to telling them after you already used them in a lie.
  • Step 3: Make your lie plausible.
  • Make your lie plausible. When you lie, only include information that is believable. Don’t exaggerate to a point where the listener will start to question what you are saying. Make your lie as realistic as possible.[1]
  • Be critical of your own lie and see if it seems reasonable. Don’t use only your own judgment but think about if the person you are lying to will find it reasonable.
  • For example, telling your wife that a bird flew in the house and broke her lamp is not a plausible lie. Telling her you stumbled over the dog and knocked the lamp over is more plausible.
  • Step 4: Include something truthful in the lie.
  • Include something truthful in the lie. Completely false lies may be more easily detected, but if you sprinkle truth into the lie it is more believable. Find a way to show proof that part of your lie is true to strengthen the lie as a whole.[2]
  • It is easier to express real emotion when you tell the truth than it is when you lie. If you emphasize the true part you can mask your emotions.
  • For example, you stayed out late with a group of friends that included your ex-girlfriend Holly. Tell your current girlfriend, “I was hanging out with Carl, Stacy, and Steve.” It’s true that you were with those people, but you’re lying about Holly being there, too.
  • Step 5: Lie before you have to.
  • Lie before you have to. You can avoid lying under pressure by initiating the conversation about the subject you are lying about. Lie voluntarily before you are asked anything. The listener may not think you are lying since you volunteered the information.
  • If the person you are lying to is already upset or suspicious, they are more likely to be critical of the lie you offer. If they have not thought of the situation yet, they may be more likely to accept what you say without further questions.
  • If you go see your friend’s band and they sound terrible, go up to them after the set and say, “You guys rocked!” before they have a chance to ask you about it.

Part 2: Memorizing the Lie

  • Step 1: Write down the details of the lie.
  • Write down the details of the lie. One of the hardest things about lying is keeping up with what you said. It’s even harder if you have to repeat the lie to many people over the course of time. The best way to avoid this is to write down the lie.
  • If you have time to plan the lie out, write it down first. If you lie spontaneously, write down who you lied to and what you said.
  • If the lie is time sensitive and will go away, you may not have to keep track of the paper you wrote the lie on for very long. If the consequences of the lie are long term, you’ll need to put the paper somewhere safe.
  • Writing helps you make things clear and remember them. Even if you immediately throw the paper away, writing can help you establish the lie in your mind.
  • Step 2: Practice saying the lie out loud.
  • Practice saying the lie out loud. If something is true, it is often easier to remember, but if you are lying you may forget exactly what you want to say. Repeating a lie over and over again will help you deliver it more effectively.[3]
  • When you are lying on the spot, you may not have the chance to practice your lie. You can repeat what you said later on so you remember exactly how you lied.
  • If you have time to practice the lie ahead of time, you can recite it in different ways to find the best delivery of the lie
  • Step 3 Record a video of yourself lying.
  • Record a video of yourself lying. For small lies, the video camera is not necessary, but if you are preparing a big lie, video can help. Watch yourself on video to decide if the lie sounded convincing. If not, figure out a way to adjust it.[4] how do i know when someone is lying

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